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From: dis_guise
, 91 months, post #1 |
I've deleted my copies of my stories, both those I've published on
line and those I haven't (mostly incomplete). I've also deleted my
copies of the artwork I commissioned on deviantART. I know that
blackshirtboy has removed my commissions from his gallery there;
some by other artists are still around, last I checked.
They're gone: I've been sloppy about keeping backups and I don't
think that I have any. They say that nothing published on line is
ever lost, but I suspect that most of this is.
Probably I will regret having done this. I'm a bit dazed: I've just
thrown out a good chunk of my life.
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From: cj
, 91 months, post #2 |
"Probably I will regret having done this... I've just thrown out a
good chunk of my life."
Probably. But I don't think that any of us will ever make it
through life without having done (or not done) at least one thing,
only to later regret our decision.
I've looked into my own stories, fantasies, and imagining... even
my thoughts on news events, and I can see the darkness that lurks
in the shadows in my mind. As long as I can keep my head about me,
those dark thoughts will remain in the shadows. So I know where you
were coming from when you decided to pull your creations (and
commissions) from the interwebs.
I only pulled some of mine due to FM being hosted where the laws
are a bit more strict than here in the US. Otherwise, while I may
not be proud of my work, I'm not really ashamed of it either. My
regrets are life choices and failure to commit for whatever
reasons... and the effects of them causing me to feel as if I've
wasted a huge chunk (15+ years) of my life. I'd love to go back in
time and get those "wasted" years back, be able to enjoy them...
but that's not going to happen. The best I can do at this point is
try to fix the damage while making the best of things... and try to
get close to where I want to be in life.
I hope that you're able to do the same.
I'd offer to send you your old stories, but I'm not sure if I've
saved them, I'm still looking for Cleo Kraft's old stories too. I
have dozens of old hard drives with stuff on them, and finding the
time to go through them... not easy. Still, I'll see what I can
find when I look for Cleo's stuff.
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From: guest (vup)
, 91 months, post #3 |
Have you tried the way back machine? Doesn't always work but it's
worth a try.
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From: dis_guise
, 91 months, post #4 |
Ah. Almost no interest. I think I did the right thing, but only
because I've prevented myself wallowing in my own works.
I thought that once you posted something on line it was there
forever, but it seems that that isn't always true -- a few quick
searches show that most of this stuff is gone.
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From: Holly Dunn
, 91 months, post #5 |
I almost posted minutes after your first post. I feel so bad for
you and it is a fear that one day that will happen to me.
Maybe if some people corresponded with you, you can ask some of
them if they saved your works. That would be my only suggestion
other than going to a data recovery expert, and you may not want to
do that due to your anonymity. Wow, I wish I had another suggestion
for you. I think others haven't posted for the same reasons I
didn't initially.
Gosh, I feel for you, dis_guise.
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From: guest (Jayzie)
, 91 months, post #6 |
What happened? Why did you delete everything?
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From: dis_guise
, 91 months, post #7 |
Trying to break a habit I'm tired of. So far I'm doing okay.
It may make little difference.
I probably shouldn't have announced it.
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From: guest (Lisa_Lewis)
, 91 months, post #8 |
I tried doing something similar to this once, it doesn't work.
You eventually realize that you are what you are.
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From: guest (penguinattack)
, 91 months, post #9 |
I've often thought about packing up, and quitting. I might do it in
the end cause I feel like my stories are absolute gutter trash.
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From: guest (Protect_Prolive_Stories)
, 91 months, post #10 |
@dis_guise, @penguinattack
People, stop it! Stop torturing your fans. As @Lisa_Lewis points
out, we all are what we are. Stop torturing your selves and
embrace. YES, there are massive obstacles that life is putting in
the way. Just look at the news and see what happens to so many
people that don't even have a choice beyond certain death.
Please instead revel in your gifts, put it out there. You have made
a difference! And you can decide what to do next.
Will you make a difference to the community, or will you be known
otherwise...?
Either way, please dig in deep and make the decision that is YOU.
Always.
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From: guest (dee)
, 91 months, post #11 |
You're already regretting this by making this post instead of just
moving forward and looking back on it.It's only gonna get worse if
you keep thinking and talking about it.
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From: cj
, 91 months, post #12 |
I think pulling his content was part of dis_guise's being himself.
If you suddenly feel that you're feeding the darkness in others,
and you don't want to be that person - then you need to do what you
can to remedy the situation. And a change of heart or perspective,
and things can and do sometimes change.
I'm just glad that he's back... even if just here and being a bit
down... but active... active and engaging is good.
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From: guest (Alf)
, 91 months, post #13 |
Maybe so, but that "darkness" would be there regardless. The
concepts he thought up are/were not unique, there have been tons of
variations of them in the past, so he should not feel any guilt or
believe that he is feeding anyone's supposed darkness (if that IS
the case) because those ideas were there in the first place for
some people, myself included.
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