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From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #121 |
guest 109: "At my best I could reach a passable high B-flat in the tenor
range. (Luciano Pavarotti could reliably hit the C above that --
well, he did tend to sing flat.) I now can hit a passable G, maybe
an A on a good day. So I can just barely sing notes that let me
sing easy alto parts. (My falsetto register is pretty much gone
now.) I've known old ladies who were more comfortable in the tenor
range than in the alto, but they're the exceptions.
There's some overlap, but male and female voices are mostly quite
distinct in range."
Me: "And who are you? A man? A woman? A transwoman? What happened
between then and now ?"
guest 109/111: "Physically male. Not sure what cost me my high notes and my
falsetto register -- chronic illness perhaps
I don't understand how your voice experience fits in this
conversation. You are not a MtF transgendered person or
crossdreamer who wanted to acquire a higher pitch.
|
From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #122 |
OP wrote: "Once I even strapped on a dildo. It was so disorienting. It looked
halfway real, and when I grabbed it with my hand, the gesture felt
so familiar. But of course there was no sensation from the
appendage itself. Afterwards, I just threw it away. Deep down
inside, I think it was an important milestone for me. That kind of
thing really hits home. I�m a girl now, and those sensations, those
experiences are something I�ll never have."
If she still likes girls, why did she throw her strap-on away? Is
there some regret here?
|
From: cj
, 102 months, post #123 |
A - It's not hers, and she meant "tossed it away" instead of "threw
it away".
B - She decided that using one felt wrong to her, she prefers to
not to use one.
C - Using one, or being the penetrator is painful (mentally or
emotionally).
I really don't know - I'm obviously not the OP, but those would be
my guesses.
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From: guest (Kathie)
, 102 months, post #124 |
I can't imagine doing that. But it is funny that, after many years,
you do sometimes wonder.
I have had girl friends say "I wonder what it feels like to..." or
"Where do they put it when..." and it always strikes me as kinda
funny (and feels good) that I have to say "I don't know" or "I
wonder too." Because I HONESTLY don't know -- the memory has so
faded.
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From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #125 |
How long has it been, Kathie, if I may ask?
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From: guest (Kathie)
, 102 months, post #126 |
Over 12 years
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From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #127 |
Thanks, Kathie.
A morality tale
about autogynephilia
, as they call it.
|
From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #128 |
Like Kathie...
I've known people who did voice surgery and they were disappointed
with the results. In fact - in some cases their vocal chords were
strained and damaged. I've spoken to many surgeons who claim it's
one of the most delicate operations to actually perform and hasn't
been perfected. Although I've been told some surgeons have a
procedure over in S. Korea that have nailed it.
I've been transitioning for over a year now - and I've been seeing
a Speech Pathologist once a week to help me just slightly raise my
pitch and change my speech patterns. He and all the people around
me claim it's working. We'll see how it all pans out as things move
along ;)
- Miss Mako -
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From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #129 |
Welcome, MissMako. Any other insights about the topics discussed in
this thread?
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From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #130 |
Thanks Forestier. I've been around here since the beginning in the
90's. Was apart of the Siren Song website. Made lots of animated
shorts, live action shorts, feature films, music, comics, youtube
content all based on TG TF's for over 20 years. But none of that
compares to me finally transitioning and doing what I should have
done a long time ago.
I havent had the experience of some of the ladies here as they
sound like they have had more time post-transition. I'm literally
in the middle of mine - but was very surprised to find out I
started to pass as a woman just 5 months after starting HRT..
Many of what is said here is exacltly spot on. I've personally
never been happier with myself already. There are some differences
too with what others have said... but so much also depends on our
backgrounds, careers, families, firneds, economic condition, sexual
orientation etc.
One of many things that I've discovered is that many of us
Transwomen are not all that alike either. Sure we have one major
aspect in common... but it's like saying all women are the same...
and that's just not true. Also - the biggest Stigma for most
non-trans people is the physical. Let's face it... that's what most
of the peeps here and outside of here think more about than
anything else.
And I can tell you - the physcial aspects of being a woman are just
a part of it. Most don't really think about or care much about how
the world around you does change - whether you like it or not.
Everyone... and I mean everyone... treats you different... both
good and bad. I never really knew what MALE PRIVLEDGE really meant
- until I started to lose it. It's amazing how you do get treated
differently as a woman than a man.
Because I live in L.A. - work in the industry - and know lots of
peeps - I've also been asked to be a spokesperson and be in several
reality shows dealing with TG. I've currently declined them -
because for the first time in my life I feel like I need to focus
on me 100% and do this right and it's working. A far cry from the
20 years of doing stuff for the community. Also a reason why I've
been dormant for long time now. (If all goes well - perhaps I'll be
back in 2016)
If you have any specific questions - I'll try and answer them :)
- Miss Mako -
|
From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #131 |
Five month and already passing as a woman? How do you dress? Do you
make up? Do you have visible breasts?
And I'd like to hear more about this male privilege...
and difference of treatment.
|
From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #132 |
Yes. It was a surprise to me and even my doctors and therapists -
whom told me it might be a year before that happens once I start
HRT. It definitely sped up me having to get the courts to change my
name and gender - cause I was starting to have issues with using my
old I.D.'s, checks, credit cards etc. People were not believing me
or kinda flipped out when they found out I was male once they saw
my Driver's License etc. It really was surreal. I don't care how
much you think you are prepared for it - I don't think you ever
really are. Hell... I've made hundreds of TG related stories and I
still wasn't prepared for it.
I dress like a woman. Sometimes I wear a skirt. Stretchy pants or
regular pants. Different kinds of tops or dresses. Lots of long
sweaters. Women's shoes, scandals or boots etc. Almost all of my
previous male clothing is either gone or stored away somewhere. I
do my own make-up and have been told I'm quite good at it. My hair
is the longest I've ever had it in my life. I have A-cups at the
moment. They are slowly growing and are often sore. They somewhat
stand out when compared to that I had nothing before. It's the
women that pull me aside and go "Oh my God - your breasts are
getting bigger" and I'm like "I guess so... " I feel them most when
I sleep at night. Sleeping on my side (which I love to do) isn't
getting as easy as it once was.
In regards to male privilege - I am the 2nd highest ranking female
now on my crew. I often sit in conference rooms full of men. In the
past - when we would work on issues - I felt like I was being
listened to and my ideas would take shape. Now... I've had a number
of instances where some of the same men that knew before as a man -
have put me down. Stopped me mid-sentence. Even put up a hand to
get me to "be quiet" when I've been trying to communicate
something. And others have seen this behavior too around me.
One of the most difficult parts that people don't often talk about
- is that most of my close male friendships have all suffered. We
used to go to movies, dinner, play video games all the time. And
now... none of them call me back right away. Or are always busy.
And then when I do get together with them - it's always awkward. I
can tell they are having a hard time looking at me. In some cases -
there's a weird sexual tension thing going on.
On the other side - women have come out in flocks to hang out with
me. They have had open arms and we go out all the time and we have
fun. And many of them have told me - they often get the same
treatment from men - where it's a kinda WHEN HARRY MET SALLY thing.
I didn't realize how hard it was for men to just have a friendship
with a woman like we used to have as just two male friends. Hell -
even a couple of my family members who are guys got weirded out and
I later found out there was a little sexual tension. And when that
happens - it seems to make heterosexual men go into a defensive
mode like "I'm not gay!!" It's also why there is so much hate crime
against TG Women. I have not had any desire to sexually be with any
of my male friends thus far. So a lot of the awkwardness tends to
come from their own not being able to look past the "sexuality"
part.
And yes... I have been hit on by both men and women already. Not
what I expected at all to be honest - cause this was never about me
attracting people to me - it was about my brain and body finally
aligning and getting on the same page for once in my life.
- Miss Mako
|
From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #133 |
Thanks a lot.
I'd like to share three videos from a Girl for all seasons.
What she loves about being female
Click to show spoiler
Fubccvat; trggvat vagb pyhof; oblf bcravat qbbef, pneelvat urnil
fghss; orvat urefrys, srryvat n shyyre enatre bs rzbgvbaf; serrqbz
gb qb nalguvat; znxr-hc; nggragvba sebz thlf; oernxvat gur zbyq;
ure obql; orvat bar bs gur tveyf; xabjvat fur�yy arire or znyr
ntnva; orvat purrxl.
What she doesn�t like about being female
Click to show spoiler
Znxr-hc; trggvat ernql; srryvat pbyq; haqrefgnaqf thlf yrff guna
fur hfrq gb; znyr punhivavfz: gur nffhzcgvba fur qbrfa�g xabj
nalguvat nobhg nalguvat.
Male things she misses/doesn�t miss
Click to show spoiler
Zvffrf:
znyr obaqvat; crefbaany fnsrgl; orvat noyr gb eha snfg naq
fgeratgu; gur znyr fjnttn, gur znyr punez. Qbrfa�g zvff:
orvat noyr gb crr fgnaqvat hc; orvat noyr gb or ntterffvir; orvat
noyr gb qevax n cvag; univat gb yvfgra gb pungf nobhg sbbgonyy,
|
From: guest (Kathie)
, 102 months, post #134 |
Forestier, it's not surprising that someone can pass after 5 months
on HRT. In my experience, the HRT doesn't change big things, just
subtle changes that are real important for those who are
"borderline"... most people who can pass with *just* HRT could pass
before (just not as often, maybe). Cosmetic surgery can make a big
difference in the unfortunate cases.
In my case, I was debating transitioning, not because I wasn't sure
it was what I wanted but because I wondered how much trouble I
would have. I never wanted to be seen as a TS afterwards by
people... I wanted to be seen as what I was, not for how I got
there. What convinced me was the time I was in a supermarket,
undecided, pre-hormones, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, hadn't
shaved for 3 days (i.e. stubble on my face), no makeup (i.e. not
TRYING at all) and, as I walked away, the cashier said to me "You
forgot your change, maam." Woah!
Regarding your summary above... "understands guys less than she
used to" is the only one I really couldn't concur with. I don't
think it's possible for me to understand guys any less than I did
pre-transition. In fact, in some ways, I think I understand them
better now than I did before because I took one "bad sample" out of
the observations (ME!). Once I was not included in the
observations, things that guys did started to fit more of a pattern
for me -- one I don't really understand anymore now than I did
before, but one that I can now see.
MissMako, congrats. I know you HAVE been around a long time. I have
always been a lurker and never said much of anything. I have no
idea why I am doing so now. I think a big part of it was that I was
always timid and shy... and was always uncertain of myself and had
very low self-esteem. I always had a hard time accepting
complements. I can't tell you HOW many people could not believe I
hadn't made up my mind 100% even 6 months into living full-time.
One person even said "I have tried and I can't see you as anything
OTHER than female" and we argued for 10 minutes because I couldn't
accept that as the truth.
Sorry, this is turning more into a brain-dump and more about me
than the replies I wanted to make. I'll stop here and save all this
for discussions with my therapist. ;-)
|
From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #135 |
Thanx Kathie,
I hope to be able to share more and get back to the community once
things settle down in my own life. As I'm sure you are fully aware
- transitioning really can send your personal life into various
tail spins. Both good and bad. It's interesting that a lot of
Transwomen that I know seems to have issues with accepting
compliments.
I think the 5 months was a surprise for me and those around me -
cause if you knew what I looked like prior to it - even I thought
there was no way I would ever pass. So this is a GREAT thing
really.
The longer I've been transitioning - I get the same reactions you
have gotten where people can't really see me the way I was - and
just think of me as a female now (which is really awesome).
And Forestier - I agree with a lot of those points mentioned above
about things you miss or don't miss about being a guy. I do agree
with Kathie - that in some way - I understand GUYS more now. I can
step back and remember what it was like and what motivated me - and
now have a new perspective that helps me understand them better
than I think I did when I was a guy. However - I still love
Football. I've always been a massive Seattle Seahawks fan. I've
already been given some new Seahawks Clothing from friends and
family members - but this time - they are for women!!!! Totally
cool!! :)
- Miss Mako -
|
From: guest (Bamtfartist)
, 102 months, post #136 |
You can now wear that bedazzled Seahawks top! :) (I'm a Hawks fan
too and live in Washington)
Thanks for sharing MM and great to hear your insights.
~Bam
|
From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #137 |
Miss Mako,
It's not the same football. A Girl for all seasons
lives in the United Kingdom, and she meant what Americans call
soccer.
A question: I understand you haven't had SRS yet. Do you tuck? Do
you find it uncomfortable?
Kathie:
I do believe you, although it's hard for me to accept the fact
that one could see a woman in you before you even started
transitionning. The human brain is usually a very good
sex-determining machine. Did you have at least long hair?
|
From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #138 |
Hi Bantfartist! Love Seattle. I try and go up once a year to see a
game and hang out up there. Except the last 2 years - as my
transition has kinda put a stop on some things :(
Forestier - how do you know I haven't had SRS yet? Just curious. I
think that's one thing I probably won't talk much in detail about
cause to me - that's very personal. Let's just say I'm on track and
have been approved to be fully transitioned physically by mid next
year :)
- Miss Mako -
|
From: Forestier
, 102 months, post #139 |
In fact, I don't know, but I assumed that five months of HRT is
quite short.
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From: MissMako
, 102 months, post #140 |
Oh I've been on HRT for over a year now. It was just that 5 months
after I was on it - that I started passing easily out in public :)
- Miss Mako -
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