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Message From A Male To Female
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From: Forestier , 102 months, post #121
guest 109: "At my best I could reach a passable high B-flat in the tenor range. (Luciano Pavarotti could reliably hit the C above that -- well, he did tend to sing flat.) I now can hit a passable G, maybe an A on a good day. So I can just barely sing notes that let me sing easy alto parts. (My falsetto register is pretty much gone now.) I've known old ladies who were more comfortable in the tenor range than in the alto, but they're the exceptions.

There's some overlap, but male and female voices are mostly quite distinct in range."


Me: "And who are you? A man? A woman? A transwoman? What happened between then and now ?"

guest 109/111: "Physically male. Not sure what cost me my high notes and my falsetto register -- chronic illness perhaps

I don't understand how your voice experience fits in this conversation. You are not a MtF transgendered person or crossdreamer who wanted to acquire a higher pitch.



From: Forestier , 102 months, post #122
OP wrote: "Once I even strapped on a dildo. It was so disorienting. It looked halfway real, and when I grabbed it with my hand, the gesture felt so familiar. But of course there was no sensation from the appendage itself. Afterwards, I just threw it away. Deep down inside, I think it was an important milestone for me. That kind of thing really hits home. I�m a girl now, and those sensations, those experiences are something I�ll never have."

If she still likes girls, why did she throw her strap-on away? Is there some regret here?

From: cj , 102 months, post #123
A - It's not hers, and she meant "tossed it away" instead of "threw it away".

B - She decided that using one felt wrong to her, she prefers to not to use one.

C - Using one, or being the penetrator is painful (mentally or emotionally).

I really don't know - I'm obviously not the OP, but those would be my guesses.

From: guest (Kathie) , 102 months, post #124
I can't imagine doing that. But it is funny that, after many years, you do sometimes wonder.

I have had girl friends say "I wonder what it feels like to..." or "Where do they put it when..." and it always strikes me as kinda funny (and feels good) that I have to say "I don't know" or "I wonder too." Because I HONESTLY don't know -- the memory has so faded.

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #125
How long has it been, Kathie, if I may ask?

From: guest (Kathie) , 102 months, post #126
Over 12 years

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #127
Thanks, Kathie.

A morality tale about autogynephilia , as they call it.

From: MissMako , 102 months, post #128
Like Kathie...
I've known people who did voice surgery and they were disappointed with the results. In fact - in some cases their vocal chords were strained and damaged. I've spoken to many surgeons who claim it's one of the most delicate operations to actually perform and hasn't been perfected. Although I've been told some surgeons have a procedure over in S. Korea that have nailed it.

I've been transitioning for over a year now - and I've been seeing a Speech Pathologist once a week to help me just slightly raise my pitch and change my speech patterns. He and all the people around me claim it's working. We'll see how it all pans out as things move along ;)

- Miss Mako -

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #129
Welcome, MissMako. Any other insights about the topics discussed in this thread?

From: MissMako , 102 months, post #130
Thanks Forestier. I've been around here since the beginning in the 90's. Was apart of the Siren Song website. Made lots of animated shorts, live action shorts, feature films, music, comics, youtube content all based on TG TF's for over 20 years. But none of that compares to me finally transitioning and doing what I should have done a long time ago.

I havent had the experience of some of the ladies here as they sound like they have had more time post-transition. I'm literally in the middle of mine - but was very surprised to find out I started to pass as a woman just 5 months after starting HRT..

Many of what is said here is exacltly spot on. I've personally never been happier with myself already. There are some differences too with what others have said... but so much also depends on our backgrounds, careers, families, firneds, economic condition, sexual orientation etc.

One of many things that I've discovered is that many of us Transwomen are not all that alike either. Sure we have one major aspect in common... but it's like saying all women are the same... and that's just not true. Also - the biggest Stigma for most non-trans people is the physical. Let's face it... that's what most of the peeps here and outside of here think more about than anything else.

And I can tell you - the physcial aspects of being a woman are just a part of it. Most don't really think about or care much about how the world around you does change - whether you like it or not. Everyone... and I mean everyone... treats you different... both good and bad. I never really knew what MALE PRIVLEDGE really meant - until I started to lose it. It's amazing how you do get treated differently as a woman than a man.

Because I live in L.A. - work in the industry - and know lots of peeps - I've also been asked to be a spokesperson and be in several reality shows dealing with TG. I've currently declined them - because for the first time in my life I feel like I need to focus on me 100% and do this right and it's working. A far cry from the 20 years of doing stuff for the community. Also a reason why I've been dormant for long time now. (If all goes well - perhaps I'll be back in 2016)

If you have any specific questions - I'll try and answer them :)

- Miss Mako -

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #131
Five month and already passing as a woman? How do you dress? Do you make up? Do you have visible breasts?

And I'd like to hear more about this male privilege... and difference of treatment.

From: MissMako , 102 months, post #132
Yes. It was a surprise to me and even my doctors and therapists - whom told me it might be a year before that happens once I start HRT. It definitely sped up me having to get the courts to change my name and gender - cause I was starting to have issues with using my old I.D.'s, checks, credit cards etc. People were not believing me or kinda flipped out when they found out I was male once they saw my Driver's License etc. It really was surreal. I don't care how much you think you are prepared for it - I don't think you ever really are. Hell... I've made hundreds of TG related stories and I still wasn't prepared for it.

I dress like a woman. Sometimes I wear a skirt. Stretchy pants or regular pants. Different kinds of tops or dresses. Lots of long sweaters. Women's shoes, scandals or boots etc. Almost all of my previous male clothing is either gone or stored away somewhere. I do my own make-up and have been told I'm quite good at it. My hair is the longest I've ever had it in my life. I have A-cups at the moment. They are slowly growing and are often sore. They somewhat stand out when compared to that I had nothing before. It's the women that pull me aside and go "Oh my God - your breasts are getting bigger" and I'm like "I guess so... " I feel them most when I sleep at night. Sleeping on my side (which I love to do) isn't getting as easy as it once was.

In regards to male privilege - I am the 2nd highest ranking female now on my crew. I often sit in conference rooms full of men. In the past - when we would work on issues - I felt like I was being listened to and my ideas would take shape. Now... I've had a number of instances where some of the same men that knew before as a man - have put me down. Stopped me mid-sentence. Even put up a hand to get me to "be quiet" when I've been trying to communicate something. And others have seen this behavior too around me.

One of the most difficult parts that people don't often talk about - is that most of my close male friendships have all suffered. We used to go to movies, dinner, play video games all the time. And now... none of them call me back right away. Or are always busy. And then when I do get together with them - it's always awkward. I can tell they are having a hard time looking at me. In some cases - there's a weird sexual tension thing going on.

On the other side - women have come out in flocks to hang out with me. They have had open arms and we go out all the time and we have fun. And many of them have told me - they often get the same treatment from men - where it's a kinda WHEN HARRY MET SALLY thing. I didn't realize how hard it was for men to just have a friendship with a woman like we used to have as just two male friends. Hell - even a couple of my family members who are guys got weirded out and I later found out there was a little sexual tension. And when that happens - it seems to make heterosexual men go into a defensive mode like "I'm not gay!!" It's also why there is so much hate crime against TG Women. I have not had any desire to sexually be with any of my male friends thus far. So a lot of the awkwardness tends to come from their own not being able to look past the "sexuality" part.

And yes... I have been hit on by both men and women already. Not what I expected at all to be honest - cause this was never about me attracting people to me - it was about my brain and body finally aligning and getting on the same page for once in my life.


- Miss Mako

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #133
Thanks a lot.

I'd like to share three videos from a Girl for all seasons.

What she loves about being female

Click to show spoiler
Fubccvat; trggvat vagb pyhof; oblf bcravat qbbef, pneelvat urnil fghss; orvat urefrys, srryvat n shyyre enatre bs rzbgvbaf; serrqbz gb qb nalguvat; znxr-hc; nggragvba sebz thlf; oernxvat gur zbyq; ure obql; orvat bar bs gur tveyf; xabjvat fur�yy arire or znyr ntnva; orvat purrxl.

What she doesn�t like about being female

Click to show spoiler
Znxr-hc; trggvat ernql; srryvat pbyq; haqrefgnaqf thlf yrff guna fur hfrq gb; znyr punhivavfz: gur nffhzcgvba fur qbrfa�g xabj nalguvat nobhg nalguvat.

Male things she misses/doesn�t miss

Click to show spoiler
Zvffrf: znyr obaqvat; crefbaany fnsrgl; orvat noyr gb eha snfg naq fgeratgu; gur znyr fjnttn, gur znyr punez. Qbrfa�g zvff: orvat noyr gb crr fgnaqvat hc; orvat noyr gb or ntterffvir; orvat noyr gb qevax n cvag; univat gb yvfgra gb pungf nobhg sbbgonyy,


From: guest (Kathie) , 102 months, post #134
Forestier, it's not surprising that someone can pass after 5 months on HRT. In my experience, the HRT doesn't change big things, just subtle changes that are real important for those who are "borderline"... most people who can pass with *just* HRT could pass before (just not as often, maybe). Cosmetic surgery can make a big difference in the unfortunate cases.

In my case, I was debating transitioning, not because I wasn't sure it was what I wanted but because I wondered how much trouble I would have. I never wanted to be seen as a TS afterwards by people... I wanted to be seen as what I was, not for how I got there. What convinced me was the time I was in a supermarket, undecided, pre-hormones, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, hadn't shaved for 3 days (i.e. stubble on my face), no makeup (i.e. not TRYING at all) and, as I walked away, the cashier said to me "You forgot your change, maam." Woah!

Regarding your summary above... "understands guys less than she used to" is the only one I really couldn't concur with. I don't think it's possible for me to understand guys any less than I did pre-transition. In fact, in some ways, I think I understand them better now than I did before because I took one "bad sample" out of the observations (ME!). Once I was not included in the observations, things that guys did started to fit more of a pattern for me -- one I don't really understand anymore now than I did before, but one that I can now see.

MissMako, congrats. I know you HAVE been around a long time. I have always been a lurker and never said much of anything. I have no idea why I am doing so now. I think a big part of it was that I was always timid and shy... and was always uncertain of myself and had very low self-esteem. I always had a hard time accepting complements. I can't tell you HOW many people could not believe I hadn't made up my mind 100% even 6 months into living full-time. One person even said "I have tried and I can't see you as anything OTHER than female" and we argued for 10 minutes because I couldn't accept that as the truth.

Sorry, this is turning more into a brain-dump and more about me than the replies I wanted to make. I'll stop here and save all this for discussions with my therapist. ;-)

From: MissMako , 102 months, post #135
Thanx Kathie,
I hope to be able to share more and get back to the community once things settle down in my own life. As I'm sure you are fully aware - transitioning really can send your personal life into various tail spins. Both good and bad. It's interesting that a lot of Transwomen that I know seems to have issues with accepting compliments.

I think the 5 months was a surprise for me and those around me - cause if you knew what I looked like prior to it - even I thought there was no way I would ever pass. So this is a GREAT thing really.

The longer I've been transitioning - I get the same reactions you have gotten where people can't really see me the way I was - and just think of me as a female now (which is really awesome).

And Forestier - I agree with a lot of those points mentioned above about things you miss or don't miss about being a guy. I do agree with Kathie - that in some way - I understand GUYS more now. I can step back and remember what it was like and what motivated me - and now have a new perspective that helps me understand them better than I think I did when I was a guy. However - I still love Football. I've always been a massive Seattle Seahawks fan. I've already been given some new Seahawks Clothing from friends and family members - but this time - they are for women!!!! Totally cool!! :)

- Miss Mako -



From: guest (Bamtfartist) , 102 months, post #136
You can now wear that bedazzled Seahawks top! :) (I'm a Hawks fan too and live in Washington)

Thanks for sharing MM and great to hear your insights.

~Bam

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #137
Miss Mako,
It's not the same football. A Girl for all seasons lives in the United Kingdom, and she meant what Americans call soccer.

A question: I understand you haven't had SRS yet. Do you tuck? Do you find it uncomfortable?

Kathie: I do believe you, although it's hard for me to accept the fact that one could see a woman in you before you even started transitionning. The human brain is usually a very good sex-determining machine. Did you have at least long hair?

From: MissMako , 102 months, post #138
Hi Bantfartist! Love Seattle. I try and go up once a year to see a game and hang out up there. Except the last 2 years - as my transition has kinda put a stop on some things :(

Forestier - how do you know I haven't had SRS yet? Just curious. I think that's one thing I probably won't talk much in detail about cause to me - that's very personal. Let's just say I'm on track and have been approved to be fully transitioned physically by mid next year :)

- Miss Mako -

From: Forestier , 102 months, post #139
In fact, I don't know, but I assumed that five months of HRT is quite short.


From: MissMako , 102 months, post #140
Oh I've been on HRT for over a year now. It was just that 5 months after I was on it - that I started passing easily out in public :)

- Miss Mako -

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